I wish I’d gotten video, but I was too busy– along with everyone else in line to buy household items– watching the collection of security guards, middle managers and cashiers puzzle at how to get this bird to fly out one of the many open doors.

“Don’t hurt it! It just wants to go home!” yelled one cashier to the security guard waving a broom. The pigeon flew from it’s perch but didn’t leave the store. Some feathers fell into an exiting shoppers grocery bag. Once re-perched over one of the exits, it cooed and fluffed it’s wings. Pretty sure it was making fun of us.

I know that there’s probably some city ordinance, health code issue or possibly Target corporate policy that forbids birds from hanging out in the store. And if you’ve got a pigeon sitting above the exit doors for long enough, there’s a good chance it’s going to poop on something or someone. Which would be bad.

But I still just sort of felt like. . . why the fuss? It’s a pigeon. I walked by 85 of them on my way to and from the store and walk beneath them every day. Just let it hang out. Pretend we’re in some open air market, like the one a few blocks away.

All in all, the Target employees seemed to share the sentiments of their customers; this was more amusing and adorable than anything else. A bunch of pigeons can bring to mind hordes of rats, but a single pigeon is cute. I’m a man in my thirties who tries often to write Important Meaningful Work and yet leaving city Target yesterday I had a near uncontrollable urge to wave at a bird and say:
“heeeeyyyyyyy pidgey! hey there!”


Maybe I should get a puppy.